Monday, September 20, 2010

Gays For GaGa - A TRUE Hag Supreme!

Shello Bitches!

We just can't deny our devotion to the High Priestess of Posterity, Our Lady of the Gays (yes, me) but also, Miz Lady GaGa. Today, the Huff-Po-Po reports she's taking her tanned, taut tushie all the way up to Maine to rally and repeal "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" in the trenches with the military 'mos and Maine's potters and plaid-clad bears.

I'm EXTREMELY fortunate in that this week, one of my leading mens, my darling Deacon, has volunteered to share his five bucks (bitch ain't cheap) on the subject. He's a fucking genius, so you're best served by committing to the whole damn thing.

Read on for a big fat WERD UP:

I’m not at all opposed to a star being controversial through their art, in fact, without the help of people like Madonna, Kylie, Christina Aguilera and Lady Gaga, our voice as a community would go unheard, but looking at it from the other direction, these pop divas would be nothing (really) without us fags.

We flock to Gaga, Madge, and anybody else who pushes the envelope with their art as a big fuck you to the people who oppose our lifestyle ‘choices’ which (and this is based on my personal experience) are generally based on ignorance, but the fundamental problem for us gays, is that we are veritable magpies (ed note: He also means 'hagpies.'). We become hypnotized with the glitz & glamour that our fabulous divas bring in the hopes of then becoming the ultimate hag, whilst being down for our cause.

The fly/fruit fly or Fag/hag relationship is very special and symbiotic – both publically and privately – we know that we can’t exist without them, or them without us. But let’s take a look at a group out there who have not been bestowed with gay. The group I’m talking about are the women who are (gasp) sans a good homo in their life, and who need us the most.

Sarah Palin, for example, is in SERIOUS need of some hot gay man love. It became painfully clear when she was running for vice president. Her publicity group clearly forewent hiring a queen to help with Palin’s makeover and (to this day I still have no idea why) was only about throwing money at the problem, rather than have a gay boyfriend spend time with her to sort it all out (remember the $150,000 Neiman Marcus fiasco).

Clearly this child has been sans gay since birth. I bet her hairdresser is also a sans-fag woman with high aspirations of hagitory (and DO NOT tell me that Alaska is fag-free. Check THIS out: http://www.city-data.com/forum/alaska/35552-gay-life-alaska-2.html).

Perhaps there wasn’t enough time to rectify the problem at its core. Clearly, Palin was trying to act ‘butch’ (I still have images of Palin’s interview at a Turkey processing plant, where they were snapping the necks of turkeys as Sarah was banging on about being a maverick), with out the chops. This is where a 'mo could enlighten Sarah on the ups and downs of being butch-whilst-fem and fem-whilst-butch - you don’t see Hillary with the same set of issues as she’s down with the triangle tribe.

Personally, I believe that one of the many reasons women have become so empowered and outspoken against the [straight] male culture is due largely in part to their friendships with us 'mo’s. In fact, I’d go as far to say that women who are sans a gay boyfriend in their lives are far more prone to make terrible decisions, which range from bad hair/clothing choices and poor boyfriend/husband selection to improper and incorrect vocabulary use. The REALLY sad thing is that they have become completely oblivious to the fact the their plight to become liberated is the very same plight the LGBT community is in right now.

It’s not all one sided, of course – it’s because of our relationship we have with our hags that we’ve been able to learn how to deal with the [straight] male-driven culture, but we can play both sides because of our sexual ‘duality’.

But I digress....

As somebody who has worked very closely with the US Army, its not an issue for most boots-on-the-ground if they are fighting side-by-side with a gun-toting homo – in fact, one soldier I had a conversation with said to me “This is my job – my office. I make deals at my office, some deals save lives, some don’t, but I’m still doing my job. I have colleagues who are women; I have colleagues who are men. I know some are straight, and I know some are gay, but they are still my colleagues, and at the end of the day, this is still the job we signed up for, and I trust them with my life as much as they trust me with theirs”.

It’s the responsibility of all fags and hags to get the message of equality out there effectively and efficiently. We learn from the strong women we adore, and they draw strength from the ones they adore. Most importantly, however, is the challenge of getting our message our by seeking alternate channels other than the one’s we’ve become comfortable with.
Bravo for the Gaga’s and Madonna’s who have helped get us this far, but, for the love of God, will someone PLEASE get Palin a 'mo!

Now I implore...have you ever read such a fantastical display of TRUTH?!?!

Make Your Balls Sparkling And New!


Now if you'd like to shave said balls or simply keep your day job, My Dear Deacon says to check out Nancy Boy shaving products and skin care, because they WERQUE, 'mmmmmmkay? And if you like your dog downward, do visit his brills Ayurvedic advice page, Daily Veda.

MUAH!

xxx

A Hag Supreme

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