Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Goo-Goo For Guncs and GaGa

Happy 20-10 Cats & Kittens!

How YOU doin'?


Photo: Fox
Guess the folks over at ABC have a better handle on real life than the competition! They earned eight noms for this year's GLAAD media awards, because Brothers and Sisters, Modern Family and single episodes of Private Practice did a great job of aptly representing the gay community. And Glee was nominated as well - bien sur! Can't wait to see who wins!

Goo-Goo For GaGa

After keeping my head down in the interest of more pleasurable pursuits, I got to
a point where I could no longer block out the noise about today's high-priestess of gay cool, Lady GaGa. Sure, like MOI, she's fiercely loyal to her gays, is sexually ambiguous, is physically innovative and writes a memorable dance-pop hook, but I got to the point where I was like: What is it with you gays and your GaGa, all throwing roses and lighting candles to her high-ness? What's the big fucking deal? Then I gave myself a YouTube tutorial and had me a lightbulb moment.

What's that I hear? A round of applause?

Her clothing and makeup are FLAWLESS. She's got tits and a sweet ass a dead man would want for his own. She spends each video expertly working her burlesque training with lots of equal opportunity tongue. The sinful pump of her oh-so simple synth pop is decorated with lyrics that channel the mind of a gay man on the make -- the ultimate soundtrack to any dance floor enhanced by gauzy smoke. She's an unapologetic dirty girl who can look after her damn self.

It was love at first sight for you, but love at tenth sight for this HAG. But it's all love, right? Please forgive!

Everyone's mixing and remixing her music but here's a rendition of Poker Face you simply must take in the...assets.

TV for the TiVo Impaired
I watch, so you don't have to.

Conan The Barbarian
As Jay Leno's ten pm NBC talk show was a tuneless clusterfuck from the get-go, the Peacock is now threatening to shove aside Conan O'Brien's Tonight Show until after midnight to put Jay on at 11:30. Another tuneless clusterfuck, right?

Well, Sir Conan fought back and damn well, too. Here's a snippet of his statement:

"Six years ago, I signed a contract with NBC to take over The Tonight Show in June of 2009. Like a lot of us, I grew up watching Johnny Carson every night and the chance to one day sit in that chair has meant everything to me. I worked long and hard to get that opportunity, passed up far more lucrative offers, and since 2004 I have spent literally hundreds of hours thinking of ways to extend the franchise long into the future. It was my mistaken belief that, like my predecessor, I would have the benefit of some time and, just as important, some degree of ratings support from the prime-time schedule. Building a lasting audience at 11:30 is impossible without both.

But sadly, we were never given that chance. After only seven months, with my Tonight Show in its infancy, NBC has decided to react to their terrible difficulties in prime-time by making a change in their long-established late night schedule.

Last Thursday, NBC executives told me they intended to move the Tonight Show to 12:05 to accommodate the Jay Leno Show at 11:35. For 60 years the Tonight Show has aired immediately following the late local news. I sincerely believe that delaying the Tonight Show into the next day to accommodate another comedy program will seriously damage what I consider to be the greatest franchise in the history of broadcasting. The Tonight Show at 12:05 simply isn't the Tonight Show. Also, if I accept this move I will be knocking the Late Night show, which I inherited from David Letterman and passed on to Jimmy Fallon, out of its long-held time slot. That would hurt the other NBC franchise that I love, and it would be unfair to Jimmy.

So it has come to this: I cannot express in words how much I enjoy hosting this program and what an enormous personal disappointment it is for me to consider losing it. My staff and I have worked unbelievably hard and we are very proud of our contribution to the legacy of The Tonight Show. But I cannot participate in what I honestly believe is its destruction. Some people will make the argument that with DVRs and the Internet a time slot doesn't matter. But with the Tonight Show, I believe nothing could matter more."

Well played, Sir Conan. Lookie here, you just don't fuck with an Aries. It's stupid. Because we have principals. And if pushed against a wall, we WILL -- in a classy way mind you -- tell you to go fuck yourself. With step-by-step instructions, lest you forget how.

American Idol
I usually wait out tuning in until the finalists are in place because stupid people annoy me, but as the first round of auditions took place in my hometown of Boston, I had to snap it on. That and I felt compelled to see what Simon's siren song, and a Paula-less (he's out next year), season would look like.

I should start by saying I don't mind Vicki Beckham, I really don't. Don't ask me why. She certainly looked fierce. But each time she looked at a contestant, this blinding, neon "Vacancy" sign lit up between her eyes and singed my retinas and deemed them useless in the afterglare. It would've helped if she emitted more constructive bon mots than, "I like your shirt," or "You've got a nice little voice, haven't you?"


Jersey Shore
Let's swing on back to Jersey for a minute. A good amount of my gays have come forward in enjoying this delightful MESS of a show. Who can resist a good trainwreck? Not we! And besides my dear gays, I must say you're pretty good at dismissing the area above the neck when it comes to a hot chest in a wife beater. Creative nick-naming is our forte. And seeing as "fist pump" is a term that carries added depth in the gay and gay-friendly community, it's no wonder we're tuning in, in droves.

Gunc Love

On occasion, part of my job is to interview celebs. And lucky for me, there are times when I get to interview people that I'd actually enjoy drinking with in 3D. This happened this week. My MomLogic family put me in touch with Bill Horn (@BillHornWoHi) and Scout Masterson (@scoutmasterson), also known as The Guncs (gay uncles), from Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood, and we did a piece about their quest to adopt. Such LOVELY gentlemen! Be sure to click and check it!

And if you know anyone who can help in their quest to add to their beautiful family, please contact them through their adoption website.

That's it for now, Bitches. LOVE!



Mr. Pink said...

lady gaga forevs! the only beef i have with her right now is that too many people are onto her. don't dilute yourself gurl! don't "tone down" that fashion sense.

did you see her with the Queen of England? Love her!!!

Carol Ann said...

lovin your hag supreme mami!! now you see why i'm lovin the gaga...she hot!! :)

Momma Comma said...

TOTES! She SMOKIN' Achchig!

And Sir Pink - YES she was magnificent with the Queen!


Deb said...

The videos and then watching her interviewed do you in for sure. She couldn't have a more fitting name!

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