Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Still Life in Stilettos

Cha, Cha, Cha!

So, what are we up to, 700k jobs lost now? I don't know about you, but all this bad news is starting to smudge my jade green sparkling liquid eyeliner. 

But look on the bright side. The words "Obama" and "stimulate" conjoined lend a tingle to a sentence. 

And now for the week's hot, steamy goss...

At Least It's Not Crack!
Ain't this nice?

Thanks LoLo and Cuz Bill for this hilarious bit of imagery. 

Please note that it says "toasted wholesome American boy" on the bottom.











Diamonds & Beards
Reports are surfacing that Gayden Christiansen and 
Rachel Bilson are engaged.  

If he's not into boys, I send heartfelt congrats. 

But they do have a movie coming out in April, and nothing pushes a love story then some "real life" romance between co-stars. 

I don't know good people -- I ask -- does it look to you like his square peg fits into her round hole?

I have a catalog of photos with my gays that imply far deeper initimacy. Just look at his 3/4 stance. What is this - stag & hag night at prom? Which makes for the perfect segue to this week's...


Judas Jack-Off is a stunningly beautiful star. Gorgeous hair, supple muscles, good pro résumé, too. He's also as hot as he is coy and conniving. But by comparison, let's just say J.J. makes our ever-shy, closeted movie idol Toothy Tilelook like an out-and-out saint of gay liberation and openness.

See, Judas, a gangly type with flat abs and the concrete ass to go with it, was planning on marrying his boyfriend. Out of the country, mind you, but marriage just the same. To a man! You know, one of those big gay ceremonies that probably makes Ken Starr think about popping pills again.

Huge prob: Judas' myriad fans would have gone ape-crap over this happy Romeo-and-Romeo fact had they ever found out, which is exactly why Judas—at his representatives' behest—went ahead and.....not only dumped his partner and fiancé, but he took up with his latest leading lady instead. Jeez, how 2008, already.

And all because a pile of veteran Hollywood starmakers told J.J. that his way-decent career would become about as relevant as Lindsay Lohan's alcohol ankle monitor should he get hitched to the BF. And I can't decide which is the best part of all, that every tabloid around is buying J.J.'s just-pumped-up fake romance, or that Judas had the (typical) ass-wipe nerve to go back to the poor, dumped boyfriend and want sex.

What is it about dudes and dogs? So seldom can you tell the diff.
It Ain't: Joe Jonas, Robert Pattinson, Jake Gyllenhaal


That's a real chin stroker. Not. Gayden's from Canada.

TV for the TiVo Impaired

RuPaul's Drag Race
Ready to lipsync for your LIFE? The ever-exquisite Ru emerges from the nightclub circuit to preside over this over-the-top drag off and promote , so start your engines, bitches. Part America's Next Top Queen, part Project Runway (Santino is a judge!), this glittery hour fueled by cat scratch fever and tucked penii is peppered with ingenious phrases like, "Here's your chance - don't fuck it up." They let these bitches drink in the green room, so you know these prettys are goin' ta' get UGLY. Add celeb cameos from folks like Debra Wilson, Tori Spelling & Dean McDermott, and Destiny's Child's Michelle Williams, and let the mascara run, my friends.

My top five are:

Shannel
Ongina
Nina Flowers
Bebe Zahara Benet
Rebecca Glasscock

Heigel and Knight Unite
Nothing like a boy and his hag joined in righteous indignation. Apparently Katherine and T.R. decided to hold hands and jump off the cast roster of Grey's Anatomy this week. 

The family that quits together...shits together? We'll see...

Can You Spell G-A-Y?

Another genius contribution from my darling Roberto...

Until next week, my delicate fleurs...

xoxo
MC

49 comments:

Carlotta said...

STill you leave me just dumbfounded... why the hell am I not married to an Aries?????? Love you much more than long time!!!

Dottay

alexpales said...

Awesome !

A

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