Friday, September 19, 2008

Crash & Burn

Hey, hey, hey!

Sorry I've been underground lately, but September ushers in a slew of activities that have kept your dear Hag Supreme spinning like a gerbil on a wheel.

Numero uno being the first celebration of our lil'est Hag, Miss Zo-Zo's day of birth, and like any queen of queens, her loyal subjects were out in full effect.

Alright, alright -- enough of my personal mishugas, let's get to the week's goss, shall we?

DJ AM & Travis Barker's Crash & Burn
Unless you're lodged under something awfully heavy, you've likely heard about Saturday's tragic plane crash, leaving four crew members dead and Travis Barker and DJ AM critically charred in a Georgia burn unit.

But did you know they miraculously had the wherewithal to slide down the wing of a burning plane while on fire, and run into each other to put each other out? I don't know about you, but I take comfort in knowing all that Elmo fire safety "stop, drop and roll" shit sticks in your craw somehow. Holy shitwit.

TV for the TiVo Impaired

The Emmys

It's nice to know a nice Greek girl from Rhode Island can bring down the house. GO TINA FEY!
If you haven't seen Fey and Amy Poehler do Palin & Clinton on SNL, I command you to YouTube it pronto.

Shane's dealing! Doug's writes a suicide note and discovers self-asphyxysex! Andy loves Nancy! Nancy confesses her dirty dealings to Andy nude in the tub! Talk about your coming clean - ba-dum-dum!

Nancy orders a gift basket for her eldest in tears as she drives to be killed by her El Heffe Presidente lover on her son's birthday! And trumps him with an ultrasound of his unborn!

Next season promises even more exclamation points! I hereby bow to Jenji Kohan.

America's Next Top Model
Sigh. Why-oh-why has Tyra gone and turned this guilty pleasure to a rotten chunk of fromage? Does she actually think pretending to be a robot is...CAMP? I implore her and her gays to go back to boring, right quick. I don't care how hard Mr. Jay gets when whipping his coif into a dashing swirl to play Prince Charming.

ANYWAY, my prediction for the top five is:

Top Design
I really wish Nathan and Wisit would just fuck already. Loved last week's PRunway cameos...Andre, as per usual, brings on the drama. Say it with me a la Faye Dunaway, "No! More! Wicker! Can't! Have! Wicker!"

Pro-jhay Runway SPOILER ALERT
My gurl Laurie reports live from the tents that she spotted Leanne and Jerrell flurrying about. Her vibe is that Leanne is taking it, but don't go chasing her for change if you lose the office pool. Even with this knowledge, I still vibe Koto (sp? Kato? No, that's an ugly Hilfigerish OJ sidekick) for some reason. She just might be this season's Chloe Dao.

Quote of the Week
Hetero angst-agent Ari Gold is cuffed and straddled in his office by two strapping male strippers.

Ari to his assistant: "Lloyd! You speak their language! Make them stop!"
Lloyd: "Just close your eyes and think of PUSSY!"


Gay Zombies
My funny fellas at unearthed this genius piece of vid I was compelled to share with you all. Simply click and enjoy.

Hags of the Week
Brad Pitt & Stephen Spielberg each shelled out $100k to oppose Proposition 8, a law that would overturn gays right to marry in Cali. Put your money where your mouths are playa!

That's all for now kiddies! Play on!



LoLo said...

which is the bigger "well, duh!": LiLo Ronson as the new Brangelina or Clay Aiken requiring the services of Perez Hilton and People magazine to wave the rainbow stripes? While we're at it, can someone tell Clay that adopting babies only attracts Brad if you're Angie?

Mr. Pink said...

there was a time when brad and angie weren't going to get married until gays could. will they get divorced??

Blogger said...

I've just installed iStripper, so I can have the sexiest virtual strippers on my taskbar.