Thursday, August 07, 2008

Bitch Slappin' in T&C, Meet the Twins

Ciao Bellas,

I wish I could say last week's absence was because I was swanning around the Italian Rivera (like my mother is), but it was more like a lack of child-free time. Anyhoot, look alive because the goss this week is legendary!

Oh. My. Lord. This is AMAZING.

Hairspray newcomer Nikki Blonsky and her father were arrested for getting into a bitchslap smackdown at the Turks & Caicos airport with Bianca from ANTM and her kin!

I couldn't make this shit up if I tried! Due to the wonders of litigation, videos of the actual fight were pulled offline, but this woman's play-by-play is almost better!

Behold the Fruit of a $14M Uterus
Sure, all the dough they make selling pictures of their cherubs goes to charity, but there's a question that's been burning in my mind about this whole biznazz..

How's Shiloh going to feel when she finds out Viv & Knox got $7M a head when she only got around $4M? And how are Maddox, Zahara and Pax going to feel when they find out their first photos with the royal couple went for bargain basement prices?

Remember when "meet the twins" meant so
mething a bit more...entertaining?

Nicole Kidman -- Faking Her Pregnancy?

I do hate to talk trash about folks in gestation, especially women who've wanted a baby for a long time. But something serious smacks of bullshit in this instance, and I feel the need to blow the whistle on this sham:

1) No one can fit into jeans this tight a week after giving birth.
2) No one can walk around this well two days after a c-section.

3) She claimed she was spinning up until a few weeks before she gave birth. Name ONE OB-Gyn who would allow spinning during your third trimester!

4) Name another OB-Gyn who would allow their patient into a Power Yoga class a week after giving birth!
5)Fuck the medical experts: Name one woman who'd FEEL like doing any of the above at the given time pre-post-natal!

Something smells fishy here, and it ain' know who.

The Incredible Shrinking Biel
LOVE these two together but she is emaciating and it's sad - sad - sad.

Look at this! Her shoulder blades could cut him.Where are her hips? She had the most beautiful bod! For the love of God, eat something Jessica! And let go of the horse tranquilizers!

Kevin Arnold is a Lush!

Desk LA went to Comic-Con and says so. Fred Savage was wasted and drooling all over his mic -- literally! Get your minds out of the gutter! Oh, and folks in the biz call Brendan Fraser "hairpiece" behind his back!

TV for the TiVo Impaired
Anderson Cooper Says Ali Lohan is "14 going on 60!"

Don't miss this clip from Live With Regis and Kelly -- his Dina impression is impeccable! GOD I love it when my fave gays crack the whip!

Pro-jhay Runway
Last night's Olympic challenge with Apolo Ohno stumped many of our beloved contestants, who couldn't understand why a cocktail dress with red piping wouldn't work for a ceremonial procession. Uh - it's because they're going to wear it with SNEAKERS you idiot!
I'm telling you, I see a bitches brew occuring between Kenley and Jerrell, who's choice of chapeau was a chap-NO! Loose change should be left in your wallet, honey.

WOOT of the Week

Now NEXT WEEK, A Hag Supreme will be lazing around a Hamptons pool, hard at work on a tan (Blayne would be SO jealous) to close out the summer. So have a beauty-filled few weeks!

Much love and x's,


Mr. Pink said...

Fred Savage is gay!? Brendan Fraser is bald?! ...

she totes was not preggers

Finchley said...

mark my words: AC360 to be a new segment on TMZ. I want all my goss to come from him (if it can't come from AHS, that is)!