Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Tales of Regression

Hey Y'all,

It's finally getting nice and steamy here in NYC and the frisky hijinx folks get into during the summer are kicking off in earnest. What does this mean? Much blog fodder for your amusement! I'm paying for my shenanigans with yet another wicked plague that's been working its way around my house, but I'll rally long enough to share deets.

Tatum Busted in the LES for "Research"
Tatum O'Neil, who's been enjoying a nice career resurrection playing noneother than an alkie and druggie on Rescue Me, was busted on the Lower East Side the other day with two bags of coke in her pants pocket. Like Winona Rider and other numbnuts before her, she claimed it was because she was "researching a role." Wonder of that means she'll attempt to write off the disco dust on her tax return?

Angelina's Mystique
Thought my instinct was pretty damn good there for a second as reports surfaced that Angelina Jolie had her twins last week...then she denied it. Whatever. If these rugrats don't turn out to be Geminis, I'll be REALLY surprised.

Miss Angelina is on the cover of this month's Vanity Fair and has this (bullshit) to say about how she and Brad handle their brood:

“We don’t ever have anybody spend the night,” she said. “We may have to adjust that when the next one comes. But we do have ladies that work with us, and they’re also from different cultures and backgrounds. One lady’s a Vietnamese teacher—wonderful. One is of Congolese descent from Belgium. Another is from the States and is really creative and does art programs.”

That's such a load of shit. It was reported that she and Brad were out to a movie star dinner in Cannes 'til 1am a few weeks ago..you mean to tell me they got home, handed someone a twenty after wrestling their FOUR fucking kids all night and said, "Thanks very much, your cab is outside?" And you mean to tell me that as knocked up as she is, after being out till 1, they got up with those kids at six and poured her them cereal by themselves instead of languishing in 1000 count sheets until noon? BULLSHIT. This is what makes people like her so deplorable, they HAVE to have major help to maintain their 8-hours-of-sleep-a-night-fabulous looks. Fuck you.

TV for the TiVo Impaired

As I anxiously await the return of 30 Days and Weeds, I bore witness to The Tudors finale this week and must applaud. Anne Boleyn drew such pity in the end, and to pity that evil bitch after the wreckage she left in her wake says much about Natalie Dormer's amazing portrayal. I've never seen a decapitation so poignant!

Tales of Regression & Celebrity Sightings of the Week

Behold My Bitches
Three of my BFF's, Jenny, Kathy and Carol Ann jetted in from all corners of the nation so we could escape our responsibilities and frolic around NYC for the weekend.

The crux of the weekend was a Duran Duran show at Central Park Summerstage. Mind you, the last one we attended together was (GULP) 25 years earlier!

Still looking and sounding pretty damn good, the Durans performed many classics for an array o' gays and dusty old bitches like us, like Girls On Film, Save A Prayer and, much to my happiness, the obscure "Chauffeur."

I remember running to MTV every time these cuties grazed the screen...behold Save A Prayer and understand the teenage madness:

After reworking a number of their "classics" with a dash of electroclash, they ended with a Rio encore that echoed their rendition from a quarter century back. Sober or not, it was nice to see they've held onto the gusto of their cocaine-fueled balls of yore, segueing into jam renditions of Warm Leatherette and Papa Was a Rolling Stone (?!). I

After this bout of bemusement, we sauntered over to The Spotted Pig for a pint or several, and caught a clear view of Ryan Gosling waiting for a table outside. A regular joe, but long and lean, I'll tell you.

The next morning, we saw Danielle, the winner of America's Next Top Model Cycle 6, sauntering across Bleecker with an older woman who may have been mom. It seems in spite of her Elite contract, she's still beating down these city streets in search of a job!

That's all folks! Until next time...

Your faithful,



Mr. Pink said...

admit it angie!

Cas said...

Ahhh! I'm having a Nick Rhodes hair day!!