Thursday, May 15, 2008

The 11'O'Clock News As Martini Hour

Hey, Hey, Hey!

Brad and I were minding our own business, collapsed on the couch watching Medium Monday night when we bore witness to a rare phenomenon that rocked our world to its very core...

Sue Simmons Said FUCK!

We rewound it over and over again and laughed our asses off. Proof there can still be magic on live TV.

The Real World: Carroll Gardens?!?!?
As if the new Darren Star series in Park Slope wasn't enough to make you burp up your morning coffee, rumor has it the Bunim/Murray crew has set their sights on SMITH AND CARROLL STREET as the setting of the new Real World series.

To echo the immortal words of Sue Simmons, What the FUCK are they doing??!?

How are they planning on editing all our strollers out of a video montage set to the tune of Natasha Bedingfield?

How are we PS 58 parents supposed to deal when film crews are clogging pick up and drop off?

The inhabitants of our 'hood are too damn old to provide a Real World for any of the insipid cast members. Here's hoping they realize the geographic and demographic error of their evil ways and head to the hipster laden 'burg instead. Or Red Hook, where they ironically just scrubbed the title scrawl featured in the first Real World intro off of the side of Fairway.

Girls Who Eat Rule
Yes, we fucking do. Plus size Whitney took home the title as America's Next Top Model last night - woot!

She was one of the smaller pluses they've ever had, but it was still a victory for those of us who eat meals. I don't care that she sounds like Britney on helium, and her mouth was gaping in half her stills, like Patsy from AbFab during her Hello magazine shoot. It was too much fun watching her cook and eat while the other girls scrambled to binge and purge Jujyfruits.

Law & Order SVU Season Finale
That cop we haven't seen all season was filler anyway. But the whole Casey thing is weird. Is she leaving the show? Anyone know? I'm just glad her hair is red again because blonde was wrong in too many ways to mention.

GAYS CAN MARRY IN CALI! Wonder if a Brangelina wedding will happen soon?

Sponsore Moi
I've reached my goal, but would love to surpass it ridiculously. If you haven't already, you have just a day or two to saunter over to my AIDS walk page to toss some chump change at a great cause. Click here!



Mr. Pink said...

they should house the real world geeks across the street from the new ikea in red hook! the show has become a sex show for teenagers. teenagers having sex and talking about it. it's like 30 something. how times change.

Gumption said...

ok I keep watching Sue Simmons and I'm laughing my ass off so hard my stomach hurts!!

Cas said...

Well at least it wasn't as bad as when Joe Namath was proclaming his love for Suzie Kolber..."I want to kiss you Suuuzzieee". Drunk Ass TV at it's finest!