Thursday, December 20, 2007

Ho, Ho, Hos

Happy Holidaze Everyone!

Well, well, well...'tis the season for some juicy delish goss, so let's get to it, do it!

Jaime Lynn is Knocked Up Y'all
Can't you hear the fruit falling so close to the tree?

Check out this pearl of wisdom from JL:
"I love babies, and I have my nephews that I love. I have a great mom and she has raised three kids, so if I take lessons from her, I think I’ll be great. All my friends have little brothers or sisters."

Yeh honey, except this isn't a little brother or sister but YOUR OWN KID! You makin' babies for momma now? Didn't your sister do a great job of that? Talk about kissin' cousins!

Lynne Spears tells OK!: "I didn't believe it because Jamie Lynn's always been so conscientious. She's never late for her curfew. I was in shock. I mean, this is my 16-year-old baby." Can't wait to buy that parenting book Lynne! Isn't the father 19? Isn't that statuatory rape? And doesn't she LIVE with him?

Sad, sad, sad. Wonder if momma Lynne got herself some Mother's Little Helpers? At this rate, she'll be scrounging around in her elder daughter's bag for some scraps! And will they come up with a stack of books big enough for JL to carry on her Nickelodeon show, Zoey 101?
Stay a few years there'll be a few weddings, a few divorces, another kid, rehab, and pantiless displays for us to discuss!

Also in this week's knocked up news...
Jessica Alba: Can't see that bitch getting spider veins
Lily Allen: And smoking all the while to boot. Nice!

Tony Parker Suing X17 Goss Site for $17M
Because it's even MORE expensive to cheat on Eva Longoria!

Celebrity Sightings Of the Week
Hang on kids, I've got some good ones...

Every year I consult the Don of the Gay Psychic Mafia, New York Branch, for a lil' otherworldly tune up. Who do I share an elevator - and psychic with - but noneother than...

Janice Coombs - mom de Puffy!

I was straining to hear gossip from Puff's future, but all I could really hear is momma Coombs going, "Mmmmmmmm, hm." Her dutiful assistant was clack, clacking away on her Blackberry. Now let me get this straight...celebrity moms need assistants?

She looked like every ghetto fabulous label vomited on her all at once. We're talking House of Dereon hat, Baby Phat bag, Sean John t-shirt...labels, labels, labels...under some mink trim jacket. It was truly amazing.

After taking Dylan on a birthday sojourn to the Citicorp Holiday Train Show, we spot working actor Richard Kind (Mad About You, Spin City, and for you morning kid channel interstitial watchers out there, Go Baby) and his daughter grabbing some Good Burger on Lex along with the rest of us.

Last but not least, Brad and I were sitting to a rare and extremely belated nosh at our nabe's fairly new Black Mountain Wine House, when we noticed the Travel Channel's annoyingly perky Samantha Brown behind us, jotting down notes. Hmph!

That's it for now kids! Sending lots of love and holiday /new year happiness your way!



Mr. Pink said...

Louisiana law defines unlawful carnal knowledge as "sexual intercourse with consent between someone age 19 or older and someone between age 12 and 17."

In Louisiana a person can only legally consent to sex at age 17. If aged 15 or 16, the other person involved must be no more than two years older for the act to be considered legal.

The Californian Penal Code states that any person who engages in an act of unlawful sexual intercourse with a minor under 18 who is not more than three years younger than the perpetrator, is guilty of a misdemeanor and faces up to one year in a county jail.

But Californian criminal defence attorney Jim Hammer says: "If Aldridge is actually more than three years older he could be up for a felony, which carries a maximum three years in prison."

TROUBS!!!!! She wants to be just like big sis. Makes perfect sense.

Mr. Pink said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mr. Pink said...

PS: Merry Christmas, Hag! Have a great holiday. I'll see you when we return with bounty.

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