Thursday, August 16, 2007

Armos and Bitches and Bears - Oh My!

Howdy Kids,

Another hawt summer week brings more goss than we can digest in a single sitting, so here goes babies...

Brit Tells Kids, "You Were Both Mistakes!"

So much for those confidentiality agreements, ay? Watch your bony ass Angelina!

In the Spears/Federline custody duel, Brit's former assistants including loose-lipped hotcake Shannon Funk, as well as her sister and mother were supoenaed to team Federline!

This Star mag article contains some mighty damning info,
basically that Brit is verbally and emotionally abusive to her kids, pops pills and drinks at all hours...who knew she was a real live Edina Monsoon minus the wit! And where's the fun in that?

Scoop is she makes out with guys and gals in front of her kids all the time. Some of you readers may recall that I've outed Brit's Sapphic tendencies long ago and far away...damn I'm good. Come out, come out, wherever you are Brit!

As far as this wasted slob biz goes, I predict we have only seen the a hint of her self-destructive tendencies, and what comes out in the wash will shock us all. I hate to speculate about something like this, but is Anna Nicole up there waiting for her with a handful of Xanax and a bag of Funyons? Time will tell...

Armos Are Booty-ful

Sometime Paris Hilton accessory and part-time accidental porn star, Kim Kardashian busted out her Armo booty pride this week:

"Everyone now says I have a fake butt or butt implant," the sizzling pseudo-celeb, who made an infamous sex tape with rapper Ray J, tells King magazine. "I'm Armenian; you should see all the women in my family. The women have bigger breasts and bigger butts. That's how I was born. I can't help it. I'm not gonna fight it. I definitely need to work out more and tone up, but I'm proud of my body."

See you guys? I've been telling you ALL it's not my fault! It's my heritage!
Hey, at least someone's speaking out proudly for us long neglected Armo ladies, and shit - I'll take what I can get, even if it's from the mouth of a rim-giving bim.

Scary Vs. Eddie
These two horror stories are going toe to toe with defamation suits and paternity bullshiz over this poor baby, Angel Iris, born to Scary Spice in April. I've seen Larry King. I've read Eddie's quotes. And you know what I think? Yeah, he's an asshole. But yeah, she's after his money.

TV for the TiVo Impaired

Woot! One of my fave shows is back! The clusterfuck that was the season finale, what with the Armo mafia and some gangstas holding Nance and Conrad hostage, is unfolding quite nicely. The scene with Celia's ex Dean and Doug popping pills and measuring penii was a classic to behold. And Justin Kirk, who plays Nancy's bro in law, is GENIUS. Smoke 'em if you got 'em and tune in!!

Unless you are one of those ex X-Files geeks consumed with lust over David Duchovny, there is no reason in the world to waste your time watching this show. The little daughter, his only hope at a conscience, is downright creepy and looks like she needs a transfusion. And gratuitous nudity does not a great show make. This guys supposed to be fucking his way through a downward spiral, which could be interesting material. But the writing is weak, the plot is muddled and the actors are wasted, so you can't help but not give a shit.

Top Chef
That do-over verdict was anti-climactic! Talk about filler. Fuck them.

Hag of the Week

Miz Hilary Clinton held her post-democratic pow wow after party at the ultimate gay watering hole, The Abbey in LA...

Who knew Hils was a grand old hag?

She has her faults, but at least she knows how to pick a club...

The Best Thing I've Seen All Week

Ladies and Gents, I bring you Bearforce One.
I'm particularly feeling the guy in pink....


Loads of love,



Mr. Pink said...

Bear Force One rules!

We need new celebs to talk about... Our are broken (LoHo, Brit Brit, Booooring)

Momma Comma said...

Whatevs Pink!

Carlotta said...

That bear force one is soo beautiful it gave me chills and I even sweat-ed a little!