Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Brit's OK - Not!

Ho ho!

Top o' the pm to ya! Hope you cats and kittens are beating the heat. And speaking of heat, I've got some steamy goss to hurl at you, so here goes...

Rehab? Yes, Yes, Yes!
Because even our poor delusional, high lil' L.Lo knows it beats jail, jail, jail.

Just take a gander at her mugshot.....

Now here's someone who truly believes all the world's a stage.

She gets points for pulling off the perfect smokey eye and dewy pout so far under the influence.

So she snorted herself into a tizzy and chased down her assistant's mother, who made her quit. SO WHAT? Who you calling a bitch with a habit?

Desk LA got the scoop from her dealer...apparently it's amazing this chick is even alive with all the candy she's snorted FOR YEARS. Tsk, tsk, so many city miles at 21.
Cocaine is back people!

Brit's OK - Not!
Sure you've heard by now about the debacle that was to be her saving grace - the OK Magazine cover. Let this be a lesson to us all: Don't your dog shit where you eat. Or on your dress. And if you do, you might want to consider having your minion clean it up without prompting.

Nicole's New Low
I don't know about you, but I'd be proud to tell my unborn child that we got to spend 96 hours of quality time together bonding in a jail cell because I was such a self indulgent fuck up right before he/she was conceived. Well...we all know I'm self indulgent, but she's ridiculous. It is miraculous, but sometimes being knocked up can inspire someone to change...here's hoping for fetus' sake. BTW: Her show was cancelled - about time they stopped throwing money at the madness!

TV for the TiVo Impaired
Speaking of low, this year's summer programming really sucks out loud. But as your faithful MC, I've spent my precious time watching those banal filler shows that you only consider for half a second, just to spare YOU the agony!

The Two Coreys
Corey Feldman is Felix. Corey Haim is Oscar. Wife Feldman is strung out on mung beans and self righteous PETA indignance. Don't even consider pressing record - it's too painful and I've already suffered for you.

Scott Baio is 45...and Single!
Why? 'Cos he's a dickhead! We are supposed to be touched by his fallen slutitude and the fact that he resisted a stripper hired by one of his best friends because - GULP - he might actually LOVE someone. Can he possibly spare the world his dick for the poor frosted flake who gives him the time of day? Ladies and gays, I don't know about you but I'm wet already.

Celebrity Sighting of the Week
Nothing. Nada. Ziltch. I threw out my back and have been relegated to my hovel. If you've got one, feel free to share.

Photo of the Week


I just love watching Matthew McConaughey get high.

Talk about magic mushrooms!

I'm living vicariously....

Keep working those tan lines people!

Much love,

1 comment:

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