Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Knives! Puke! Jail!

Greetings Cats & Kittens,

I'm SUCH a cheeseball, I know. Happy heat! With summer nipping at our heels, there's plenty of steamy hot goss to consume, so let's put on the pit paste and venture forth into the steam, shall we?

Kate & Owen = Finis

They were a stupid couple anyway. What is it with her liking fugly men? She's way too cute for that penis nose.

Besides, they began while she was still married, which is rarely promising karma.

Lindsey Has Minillo At Knifepoint!

Churns the bile, don't it? It's so sad to see two gals so deluded with their own beauty and importance that they'd actually think they were being controversial by doing this inane home style photo shoot.

What? You think you're fodder for Black Book now? Go ahead, Linds! Slit! I think I speak for us all when I say I could give a shit.

Courtesy X17.com

The Night Before Rehab, Lindsey Was Quiet As a Mouse...

Not a teen queen was stirring, except to puke behind a house. I swear X17 is my new fave site.

Most of us have had the misfortune of looking like this at one point or another in our lives, but have we been dumb enough to do it with paparazzi up our ass the very night after cops found coke in our car? Now there's a chin stroker...

Paris In Jail
Hilton turned herself in a few nights ago, after getting all dolled up for the MTV Movie Awards of course. The requisite tears were shed, the pat, "I guess I have to learn to take responsibility for my actions" crap was uttered. She gets to be in solitary and, according to photos, the place is a country club compared to your regular, everyday, lice-ridden facility. Knowing her, she'll turn this into yet another profitable venture.

TiVo To Go

The Sopranos
Whoa! They lull you into complacency and save best for last, don't they?
So much for my Bacala theory! That poor guy was so riddled with bullets, he was cartoon swiss cheese. I felt bad for Sil, who unceremoniously got railroaded. You'd think all that capicola (gabba-gule) he'd been eating lately would provide some sort of protective cushion.

I'm telling you - here's where Carmela heads for a hot Italian reunion with Furio. AJ might kill himself yet, the way he was left simpering on the floor. Maybe it will end as Parisi Jr rising to power with Meadow as his first lady - kind of a Tony/Carmela the next generation. I think Tony will live to preserve expensive celluloid options. Any theories? Write 'em in!

MTV Movie Awards
All I saw was Amy Winehouse do a very speedy rendition of her brilliant Rehab, which left me thinking she might want to change her tune from no, no, no, to go, go, go. How did I get too old for this shit?

Homie of the Week
Ben Affleck! He stopped by the Greater Boston Food Bank to participate in America’s Second Harvest’s national "Goin' Home for Hunger" campaign. I always knew the Masshole in him would find a way to get back to real after the whole J.Lo fiasco. We are well known for chopping down those who dare get a swelled head.

Hag of the Week
Kathy Griffin, who's Life On the D-List premieres on Bravo tonight!

Say what you will about Kath's snarky sensibility, but she is a Hag Supreme through and through and thus deserves a lil' pimpin'.

That's it for now! Stay sexy!



Anonymous said...

Ring, Ring!
Who's there?
Not Paris!
Apparently she is totally lost on how to make a GASP! collect call.

Anonymous said...

But apparently if you cry hard enough..you can get out jail.

Momma Comma said...

guess one hour of tv & phone a day was getting in the way of business!