Thursday, June 14, 2007

Jolie Meathead and the Hollywood Nutshell

Howdy Rowdies!

Went to a taping of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart yesterday with Brad, Mike & Dana, where we ran into Hollywood honcho and "meathead" Rob Reiner, his wife and brood of merry kids/grandkids. They sat quietly on the sidelines all clad in grey sweats and schlub-like, laughing out loud with the rest of us simple plebs.

Of course we led the audience in groaning when it was announced that we missed Angelina Jolie by a mere 24 hours -she'll be on tonight. That would've been blog fodder of THE BEST kind. Not only would we have seen Brad's sand-blasted craterage up close, I would've been sizing her size 000 ass up - like I don't already! SN-AAAYYYYY-YEP!

Speaking of the almighty Angelina, do you folks know that both the Associated Press and USA Today refused to interview her during her NY press junket for A Mighty Heart because the confidentiality agreement was OFF THE RAILS? Stuff like:

- No questions regarding her personal relationships or she has the right to immediately terminate the interview and leave.

- No Interviewer or Media Outlet can run all or any portion of the interview in connection with any other story.

- The interview will not be used in a manner that is disparaging, demeaning, or derogatory to Ms. Jolie.

- Such a violation, the signatory thus agrees, would "cause Jolie irreparable harm" and make it possible for her to sue the interviewer and seek a restraining order. (?!?!?!?!?!)

Excuse me - irreparable harm? Are you shitting me? I don't know about you, but I call that kind of Nazi you-can't-talk-bad-about-me-or-I'll-sue-your-ass-off regime HIGHLY suspect and hypocritical, ESPECIALLY since A Mighty Heart is largely about the rights of the press! What you got to hide Angie? HMMMMN ?!?!?!?!

Here's the Hollywood Nutshell - my weekly breakdown of media madness. Ready?

- Britney flashes her crotch again. This time she's clad in fuschia pink panties.

- Paris gets sprung from jail, then is ordered back and the cops are forced to wait outside for her for two hours. The balls on that broad! If it were you or me, it would be all of five seconds before tasting the regulation black oxford that was rammed up our ass.

- The gays are pissed off at John Travolta, a Scientologist, is donning drag and starring in in Hairspray, a John Waters (tres gay) movie. Scientology reportedly tries to "fix" gays by reprogramming them. Fucking beardiology is more like it.

Playback for the TiVo Impaired

The Sopranos Finale
Those last, black few seconds managed to fuck everybody up but if truth be told, I actually didn't mind it. It worked - I was on the edge of my seat. Leotardo's demise was formidable. I liked that there was a chance that Tony & Co. would be okay. Now we have to watch something else Sunday nights. Gene Simmons Family Jewels? John from Cincinnati?

Rescue Me
One of my FAVES is back!

Loved that fake out fire! I lost my shizzle when Proby went sailing into it.

They cut to nine months later; new baby's already there, Tommy's living with bitch ex-wife who's mellowed, eldest daughter is no longer gay; chief, who was near death, is on the road to better health and a MUCH better relationship with his gay son; Franco's girlfriend's handicapped brother wants them out so he can lay a downs syndrome girlfriend; Lou is screwing his ex-nun gal pal in a church...the list goes on - all handled with that pungent Masshole humor Leary is exemplary of. Watch...and enjoy.

Got loads to do before with hit the road to visit Thomas the Tank Engine, so nanu nanu for now.

Loads of love,


1 comment:

Mr. Pink said...

and she showed up on the red carpet in a cheap "vintage" dress. slut.