Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Crash & Burnout

Welcome back from the holiday weekend kiddies!

Hope you had a good one. I was largely sequestered in a miserable post-nasal haze, but it all made me very thirsty for goss and I'm glad to report the celebs didn't let us down with tons of hijinx to report...

RRRRRRRRRTTTTT - CRASH!

Lindsey Lohan drove into a tree in Beverly Hills in the wee hours of Saturday morning. Cops charged her with driving under the influence, and coke was found in her car! The beauty of it all? She's STILL underage! And SHE GOT TO WALK AWAY. Guess what she did the next night? Hit the club like nothing happened!
Where's the fisticuffs? You just KNOW Paris is getting a "How Come That Bitch Gets Away With It??!!" petition and demonstration together on Rodeo today!


O.D.EAR

Much like the "movie career" she ditched the OC for, Mischa Barton is out for the count. She was "resting comfortably" in an LA area hospital after mixing "alcohol with antibiotics" at a Memorial Day bbq.

I can't tell you how many times I've done this and have never ended up "thinking I was dying." Mushrooms and coke'll do that to you though. When will these sophomoric bitches ever learn?


IS BRITNEY THE REAL J.T. LEROY?
YOU be the judge!



There's no way she knows who JT is, but the resemblence is uncanny!

Thanks to Roberto for making me fall off my chair with this deliciously accurate analogy!




ROSIE WALKS
I bore witness to this clawfest. O'Donnell was surprisingly not the one to lose it -- I thought Hasselbeck was going to bust an ovary. Say what you will about them both, but Hasselbeck is no match for O'Donnell's balls of steel. O'Donnell blogged that she's written off Hasselbeck as a friend. Then again O'Donnell's head writer was escorted off The View for drawing moustaches on Hasselbeck's headshots. Sounds tit-for-tit to me.

FINALE ROUNDUP FOR THE TiVO IMPAIRED

ER
Maiming Ray was a real shocker but did they HAVE to have poor Neela trampled too? Hasn't that poor chick been through enough? How's she supposed to come through this with her hotness intact? And just shipping off Luka to Croatia with no follow up? That was f*ed up. Like Stanley Tucci's presence, but don't know if it will be enough to save this flailing series.

American Idol
Told. You. So.

But seeing Joe Perry play guitar for Sanjaya was as blasphemous as seeing Paris with a bible. My eyeballs still doth bleedeth.

RIP Charles Nelson Reilly
The hilarious fag-tastic guest of Match Game died this weekend at age 76. For those of you archaic enough to recall the wonder that was Match Game, I'm sure you'll join me in sending the heavens an air kiss.

Hag of the Week
Me, you bitches!

Alright that's it y'all. Have a beautiful week!

xx
MC



2 comments:

TANKENGINE said...

"Rosie, big, fat lesbian, loud Rosie attacks innocent, pure Christian Elisabeth."

LOL! amazing.

Anonymous said...

Poor Lilo, according to the Boston Herald,not only is she a booze bag, but she is also addicted to oxy! Poor girl,she was such a cute kid.
BTW how long do you give Mrs A-Rod, before she gives him his walking papers?