Thursday, March 01, 2007

Mondo Mens, Miami & Models

Hey Y'all,

Here I am, freshly sunkissed from South Florida, and I have to say it was magnificent. It felt so good to be in my natural habitat of palm trees, blue waves and balmy breezes. And
thanks to my truly lovely in-laws, our accommodations at the real Del Boca Vista were exceptionally comfortable. If you are ever in South Beach, do yourself a favor and stay at the Sagamore Hotel. Trust. I plan on it over and over again.

A doppleganger for my bro Al, Miami Ink's Chris Nunez took a second out to say hi and pose with yours truly in the interest of blowing Al's mind...

Please note the sun drunk glee on my face.

Now that I've succeeded in pissing you all off, we've got lots of juicy goss to get to, so the time has come to break it down.

The Downward Spiral of Miz Brit
Tsk, tsk, tsk...well folks, who didn't see this coming? First her bald cooch makes headlines, now it's her bald head. Here's hoping someone in her costly rehab is passing her a Xanax and a clue. Can't you just see Paris lounging by the pool, ring of frost around her right nostril, reading about Brit shaving her legs in the public Mondrian pool bathroom in US and cackling maniacally to herself?

My new BFF Bryan very kindly sent me this link to Miz Brit attacking the paparazzi with an good I HAD to share! The best part is how she scampers off at the end, like she's gone egging!

Anna Nicole
Sources tell me she did die of an overdose in true Janis Joplin fashion, quelle surprise. I'm so over all of this. Next.

The Next Winner of American Idol Is...
In order to right the collosal Jennifer Hudson faux pas in judgement, Simon Cowell will attempt to tell America he really thinks it's okay if girls eat once in a while by placing the crown on the actually talented Lakisha Jones' or Melinda Doolittle's head. You read it here first.

America's Next Top Model
How does this trash just keep getting better and better each season?

Here's my prediction for the top 7 in no particular order:
Natasha - The Rusky mail order bride with lips meant for blowing.
Renee - The overly caffienated ambitious baby mama from Maui.
Felicia - Tyra, the sequel. Nuff' said.
Diana - Plus-sized perfection.
Dionne - It's always the quiet ones you have to look out for.
Jaslene - The human ATM card.
Whitney - the Wild Card - Another formidable plus-sized persona.

Hag Of The Week
One of my favorite TV personalities as of late, Ms. Janice Dickinson of The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency recently hosted gay icons such as fave blogger Perez Hilton and David Cooley (owner of LA gay booze n' boys emporium The Abbey) to slap asses and poke paunches during an open call for AussieBum. You're welcome.

Talk about a drag queen! Viva la Janice!

For those of you who have reproduced...
Check out my pal Jen's blog The Mama Chronicles for laughs, helpful tips and AMAZING recipes!

Back to work for me kids. Lots o' love!


No comments: