Monday, August 28, 2006

Latent goss + the Emmy edition

Hey Folks:

I've been away vacationing with my family in RI and, believe it or not, there was no room for a laptop poolside. So here I am - your long lost friend - with goss to spare...

Let's start with a little before and after humor...

You've come a long way baby!

I'd be mortified if my 5th grade photos made People, but dear lordy me, it's nice to know some of the most bee-yoot-iful peeps on this earth were not always. This one had me doubled over. Guess gorgeous George was once just curious George.

RIP Kate & Chris
I don't know if it's 'cos we were pregs together, but I was kinda rooting for these two. Oh well, she's way too hot for his hairy scary ass anyway.

Project Runway
I predict Michael for the win! Uli a close second.

So sorry to see Patrice go, but she was boring me lately. I think she'll go on to greater things anyway. My pal Candice and I agree that Toby should fall off the boat next, followed by Storm and/or Ryan. Anyone who goes by Storm and/or Star needs a dope slap.

Rosie Perez Spotted @ Pacifico on Smith Street
Really cute, really tiny and seemingly really nice to everyone who talked to her.
I bet Brad $10 to get her to come over to Dylan and ..."Say click! Take a pic!" (She does the voice of camera on Go Diego Go!) but t'was to no avail.

The Emmys
Thank GAWD for Conan O'Brien! For the first time in years and years, the Emmy's actually had moments that were entertaining. From his cameo infested opening (featuring Conan finding his way onto South Park, with Tom Cruise coming out of a closet) to his "The network is screwed" song and dance number, he was pretty friking funny.

Who Rocked
Heidi Klum - aka "The Klumbot"
Mariska Hargitay - rocks an Emmy gown to hide a nursing bra with panache
Jaclyn Smith - timeless elegance
Megan Mulally - my idol
Julia Louis-Dreyfus - elegant genius

Who Did Not
Sandra Oh - way too frilly
Charlie Sheen - that wayward forelock was driving me nuts
Farrah Fawcett & Kate Jackson - nipped, tucked, sandblasted and then some
Simon Cowell - flaunting his manscape for all to see
Candice Bergen - beautiful woman, but that belt will ensure chastity way past menopause
Paula Abdul - never decide what to wear while mixing Hoodia with laxatives

Quotes of the evening:
"My agent said I wouldn't work until I was past 40. So what do I do? Do I become a fluffer?"
-Jeremy Piven

"Good evening Sodomites. Kneel before your God Babylon! By the way, I can't believe I lost to Barry Manilow!"
-Stephen Colbert

Future Emmy/Oscar/VMA winner:

Dylan James Schaffel

Believe it. And he best bring me.

And now to tend to his master...

Love to you all!


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