Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Oops She's Ruined Her Career

Good morning!

(Sigh, Tsk) Oh Britney....

Well it's official. Gays from coast to coast are sporting black shrouds in mourning. Britney Spears has gone forth and become fruitful with another child, even though the last was fresh out her womb. That would mean she got knocked up just three or so months after birthing the last one. My uterus aches for her.

Our Lady of the Perpetually Pregnant

She may look like she has a grip here, but can we be so sure?

As long as she starts strapping them in to cars and stops dropping them on their heads, she can procreate all she wants.

Has no one told this young lady that piling on the babies do not a happy marriage make? Does she think she's even with his ex now or something? All I know is it's going to cost her tons to get rid of Spermerline now... even with an ironclad prenup.

Buh Bye

I'm counting on this to be the week to dispose of three of the biggest bee-yaches on reality TV as of the moment:

Top Chef
Any self-respecting adult who goes by Tiffani with an i and does nothing about it in probate court should be spanked. Hopefully, our darling emotional basketqueen Dave will leave whiskmarks on her ass. I know his bio says he's from LA, but I hear the unmistakable strains of Boston Bitch in his voice and 'tude. You go girl.

Jade, your time is up honey. The only thing that could prolong your misery for one more week is if Sarah willingly throws in the towel. As far as you've come, it's with "certainness" that it's time for you to get your eyes clawed out on the evil streets of P-Town, you drag queen, you.

American Idol
I don't care if you resemble Catherine Zeta-Jones if I squint at the screen. Time to go home, McPhee. After last night, I'm all about Elliott Yamin. I don't know what their stylist did but he went from Centaur to Centaur-ific!

Quotes of the Week
"You aren't the President. Get the hell out of my uterus." - Grace, Will & Grace

"I sit next to her and all I can smell is bitch." - Joanie, ANTM

"Don't you want to be a condom?"
"Why don't I just cut out the middle man and be the cock?"- Jenna & Toby, Live From the WB

Funniest Show of the Week
Hands down, the Best of TV Funhouse SNL featuring the GENIUS that is Robert Smigel was the best thing to watch. Guaranteed to turn a bad mood good in seconds.

Sorry this is so quick guys, but Friday will be a much meatier post. Maybe Angelina will pop by then!


1 comment:

toby said...

i made quote of the week bitches!

listen to my podcast. the new one comes up tonight!