Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Everyone's Birthin' Babies

Hey Peeps,

Hope you had a happy Memorial Day weekend! Even though we were bound in Brooklyn, we had a lovely time with dear friends (Candle!) and family. But I'm not interrupting your regularly scheduled programming to muse on about my weekend...

BAMZS is In Da House
Actually they are rehabilitating in five-star Namibian accommodations, fresh from the glow of blessing the world with Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt May 27th. Reports say that Angie wanted a natural water birth.


I've given birth and went to 8 cm without drugs (not out of bravery - out of my docs negligence) and I'm here to tell you -- if the blinding pain of childbirth didn't make her want to rip her eyeballs out and enlighten her to the fact that she isn't Lara Croft, I don't know what would. Of course, who are we kidding? She probably had one of those Hollywood 2-in-1 c-section tummy tucks.....god forbid an ounce of fat find its way onto her glorious ass.

Safely within the walls of their electric-fence encased palace, Brad and Angie have decided to celebrate by climbing even higher atop their preverbial soapbox and tossing hundreds of thousands of dollars toward the Namibian government for the poor unmarried single moms (there are MANY - and they are no where near these people) who can't give birth in private luxurious splendor like they can. Sure, giving money to people who need it is always a good thing. But I can't help but wonder if somewhere in that pretty little head of hers, all this elevated consciousness is supposed to atone for Laura Dern, Jennifer Aniston, or all those other less-iconic looking people whose partners she made off with in the middle of the night? She robs from the rich and gives to the poor...

Wouldn't it be hilarious if the kid was butt-ugly? No matter how hot Angie or Brad may be, what emerges from a nine month swim in the gene pool is always a toss of the dice.

Gwen + Gavin + Kingston
Congrats to Gwen Stefani & Gavin Rossdale, on the birth of their first child Kingston James McGregor Rossdale. Sounds royal, doesn't it? Leave it to reggae lover Gwennie to name her kid after the capital of Jamaica. Right on MON! I can't help but wonder if Kingston was born sporting bright red lipstick.

American Idol Addendum
OK - I was a shit last week. Didn't watch the whole thing. How could I possibly have nothing to say about the whole Clay Aiken and that sad parody of himself that Sandecki guy? That was the most frightening coming-out ceremony I've ever witnessed, and I've seen some shit. I'm surprised Clay agreed to it actually, but then again, he agreed to that helmut head of a hair-do.

Viva La Gaiken! (Thanks Alex!!)

Much love 'till Friday!



Alex Palermo said...

But more importantly which would you shoot first ?


Alex Palermo said...

Join the Gayiken Revolution !

toby said...

finally that baby is out of that womb. what's next?!