Wednesday, May 03, 2006

American Idol Sucks ASS This Year

Hey Peeps,

Ever feel like you are running through molasses? I don't know if it's the planets or the PMS, but I'm feeling like I can't get SHIT done this week. Doesn't anyone WANT publicity anymore?

I guess we all know the short answer to that is Denise Richards.

Aside from our good slut Paris, I've never heard of a celeb so out to immortalize herself in the kind of print that lines most peoples catboxes. Then again from the sounds of things, she's got more meow mix in her than most. Let's hope for her sake she has nine lives as well.

Now for the topic of the week:

American Idol Sucks ASS This Year

I finally tuned in last night and everyone sucked at least once. The glory days of Kelly Clarkson are long gone and now all we are left with are Rock Star dropouts, pitchy bitchy beauty queens and the peppered Matthew Perry-esque wasted-on-lite-beer Taylor.

You heard me. Word on the street was that Chris Daughtry (sp?) actually tried out for Rock Star, but was tossed to Idol instead. Seems the Idol puppeteers have been wanting a rocker to win for some time to create a diverse playing field. And with this dude, they may actually get their chance. Anyone who does Styx's Renegade is just fine with me. For once I didn't feel so fucking old.

I hope he or Taylor wins because they are the best singers of the bunch. For all her annoying sauciness, Paris is a way more consistent singer and performer than the overrated Katharine McPhee, who was so painfully off-key during her first song, I actually felt pangs of sympathy in between my chortles of laughter at her expense. Then she got on her knees and actually did a good job. And I'm sure it wasn't the first time.

My beef with McPhee is that she can sing but she is horribly inconsistent and skates by on her looks most of the time. This isn't a beauty pagent folks. In the immortal words of Simon, "It's a singing contest!" So go do your Teen Cosmo cover and leave our bleeding eardrums alone.

Elliott Yamin should get kudos for his decent rendition of "On Broadway." Dude sounded like George Benson and considering the fact he can barely hear, that's no easy feat. Now if we could just get past the fact that, according to my BFF Jenny, he strongly resembles a centaur.

My prediction for this weeks dropout? Maybe Katharine or Paris. Don't know who will win but it's the year of the boy. And I guarantee you I won't care a whit once it happens.

If you dig American Idol, you should check out my BFF Kenny's scathingly accurate account of each week's Idol on TV Guide Online. Trust me, not only is he adorable, but the boy knows from which he speaks.

Be well my friends!

xx
MC


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